Mixed Feelings

I got word a few days ago about an old friend and how he died. I was so shocked that I had no idea how to process it.

Let me give some background, when I first started my career after college, I volunteered for an evangelist in operating cameras for a multi-camera shoots. This friend was also a volunteer and was soon hired to be on staff working for that evangelist. He later left for another job, and I was offered his old job. Once I got into the rhythm of working there, I streamlined many of the processes, making what we did in television production more efficient. We aired the video shoots on national and local television stations. After about three years, I started working as a freelancer and was soon offered a job at an ad agency. When I gave my two-week notice, this friend came back to take over his old job. I helped him get up to speed with the changes I made. Then I did not see him again for many years.

Fast forward about twelve years, and I was working as the broadcast video editor and systems engineer at Second Baptist in Houston. We were expanding to multiple campuses at that time. I asked my boss if I could get a helper to take over some of the little stuff so I could focus on engineering two church campuses to sync their live video feeds. After about a year, this friend apparently wanted my job and started spreading rumors that I was stealing things from the church. I knew my time there was short because management apparently believed what he was telling them. One morning, I had an email saying this guy was now my boss. I wrote a resignation letter stating that I am leaving, effective immediately. I delivered it to the administration, turned in my keys, and said goodbye to many close friends.

I was out of work for about a year when I got a call out of the blue with a job offer from the Associated Press for an uplink operator position. The Producer I worked for at the AP was the same Producer I worked with at Second. In one of the few downtime periods when we were not uplinking news somewhere in the world, this Producer told me that the Administration at Second had fired this friend because his lies caught up with him, and for other reasons, I found out recently. The Producer apologized to me, saying that he believed that guy over me.

There are only a few people I have not liked, and even fewer I could say I was on the verge of hating. This friend was that. I had to deal with myself in how I thought of this guy. Someone who knew both of us and the history asked me if I hated this friend. I responded that as a child of God, it is hard to hate anyone, so I don’t hate him. But I do wish that I could hire him for a job and then fire him just before Christmas. The guy I told this laughed and said, “You are a better guy than I am.”

Fast forward to this last summer, I received a text that this friend had passed away. Then I received several more texts from people I worked with at Second, also to let me know this guy had passed away. Each time, I asked how he passed away. Was he sick, or maybe an accident? No one knew. Then last Tuesday, I got an email from one of my counterparts at NASA asking if I knew where he could find a certain video file, and BTW, did you know that so-and-so passed away? I replied to that email and asked if he knew how this friend passed away. His answer shocked me so much that I was speechless. I could not believe what I was reading in that email. I replied, asking if he had more information about what led up to how he died. That email was even more shocking and sickening. I had a difficult time processing this. I texted Jennifer, then I sent messages to a couple of my old friends from Second Baptist. They were all as shocked as I was. One of them replied that there had been a rumor about why this friend was let go from Second, but they did not tell anyone else because a rumor is just a rumor. What I told them this week confirmed what they heard in the rumor. Without going into details, this ‘friend’ committed heinous acts and did something even worse. As the Sheriff arrived at his house to arrest him, he shot himself.

I can honestly say that I never hated this guy for what he did to me. I was able to distance myself and never wanted to see him again. Had I not left Second when I did, I would not have the job I have now, which I love. So, my career path was not altered by this guy who stabbed me in the back; it ended up better.

I am still trying to process all of this. Yesterday, Jennifer said that “…. No matter how secret someone keeps a double life, it all gets exposed in the end.”