Used Cars

I learned about how mechanical things work early in life. I was always taking my bicycle apart to figure out how it worked. When my brothers and I got a go-kart, I took it apart many times to learn how it worked. Same with lawnmowers and chainsaws. I took everything apart that I could think of to learn how they worked. It came naturally to me to understand how mechanical things worked. For most things, I reassembled them the way they were supposed to be, but not always. I had a Stingray bike with internal hub gears that would shift when you pushed back on the pedals. I never did get that to work again after taking it apart.

At 15 years old, I bought my first car, a '65 VW Bug that I took apart to build a dune buggy with the help of my brothers and Dad. I bought a '66 Chevelle SS the next year, which was really run-down, so I learned a lot about how cars worked by keeping it running. When I was 17, I bought the '68 Camaro that I experimented with. I built and rebuilt several different engines for that car.

One time, a friend asked me to go with him to a Used Car Lot to look over a car he was interested in. I was amazed at how the salesman would say things that were not true, but instead of correcting him, I stayed quiet to see what all he would tell us. I advised my friend not to buy the car he was interested in.

That time at the dealer started something I would later enjoy: going to used-car lots to see what all they would tell me that was not true. I would play along with them, trying to get them to exaggerate more. In GM cars, the automatic transmission was either the TH350 or the TH400. The TH stood for Turbo Hydramantic. The word 'turbo' is not the same as the turbochargers, or 'turbo', used to increase engine horsepower; it was a type of hydraulic transmission system. The most common lie these salesmen told was that the transmissions were turbos and, therefore, high-performance. There were times that I would take the car for a test drive with the salesman, and they would continue the sale while I drove. One time I took a '69 Camaro for a drive and as we got on the road, I could clearly hear the transmission had a bad oil pump, there was a loud whine that changed pitch with each gear change. I asked the salesman what that noise was, even though I already knew. He said, "That is the turbo whine! This is a high-performance car, so the transmission sounds like that. Nothing to worry about." When we got back to the lot, we talked more about the Camaro, even though I had no interest in buying; I was stringing him along. I left saying that I will think about it.

Right after high school, I went to a local community college in Texas City, about a 10-minute drive from where I lived. One day, I had to catch a ride with a friend whose class started at the same time as mine, but I also had a later class, so I had to find another ride back home. The engine was out of my Camaro that day for a modification I was working on. I would have the Camaro running for the following day. After my class, I asked around to see if anyone was going to Dickinson, where I lived. I could not find anyone. One guy said he was going to Texas City, and I could catch a ride with him.
At first, I declined, but then I got an idea. I asked him if he could drop me off at the Sonic, a drive-through fast-food place. I knew of a Used Car lot that was next to the Sonic. He dropped me off, and I walked over to the car lot. I saw a '71 Camaro, so I went over to it to look it over. Like clockwork, the salesman walked over and asked if I had any questions. I asked him the usual question about the Camaro, and he finally offered, "Do you want to take it for a drive?" I said, "Sure," as I tried to continue showing interest in the car. He got the keys, and we were on our way. I drove straight to my house while asking questions about the car. The Camaro had been run hard, I could feel and hear many issues. I pulled up into our driveway, got out, and the salesman had this look of wondering why I was getting out. I said I was not interested, but thanks for the ride, as I turned to walk into our house. I am not sure if that guy got mad or not, but I would bet that was a first for him, someone taking a car for a test drive to get somewhere.

I have not gone to a used car lot in a long time, to see what they say or even for another free ride home. Maybe it is time for an adventure like that.